According to the National Enquirer, our FLOTUS, Michelle Obama has been BINGE EATING, and gained a bunch of weight.
We're not quite sure whether to believe this report or not, and we're not sure WHY IT MATTERS. Mrs. Obama is one of the classiest women in the world. For the last seven and a half years she has worked hard to be seen as the PERFECT WOMAN to America.
Now that her husband's term is almost over, she has EARNED the right to let herself go a little.